Monday, July 23, 2012

Persecution complex tastes like chicken

Wishing I'd stop blogging about Chick-fil-A? Yeah, so am I. But you see, the ridiculousness just keeps on coming, and I can't help but remark on it. Two items today, neither of which is remotely surprising, but each is actually rather fascinating in its predictability. Let me show you what I mean:

Item #1: Conservative Christian politician labels criticism of contributions to a bigoted cause "attacks," asks people to stand up for God by helping the bigots out. 

A new Chick-fil-A franchise opened up recently near me. They built a two-lane drive-through with ample room for long lines of cars, but additional security was still necessary in the first week or so they were open, and every day (except Sunday, of course) those long lines continue to form for lunch, dinner, and yes, breakfast too. They don't seem to be hurting for business at all, but former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee is nevertheless concerned that Chick-fil-A might be hurting financially from the relentless horrible bullying of people expressing their displeasure about Chick-fil-A's ownership donating millions of dollars to anti-gay-rights causes. So by golly Mike Huckabee is doing something about it, and that "something" is declaring that Wednesday August 1st should be a day of appreciation for Chick-fil-A, when everyone who wants to "affirm a business that operates on Christian principles" will get themselves a chicken sandwich and waffle fries for Jesus. Thus far, Huckabee's Facebook campaign for this purpose has attracted more than 38,000 people who forgot that their savior condemned divorce but said nothing about homosexuality followers.

Item #2: Self-proclaimed "irreverent raconteur," forgetting that he has roughly half the intellect and none of the wit of H.L. Mencken, non-ironically condemns those who have "attacked" Chick-fil-A (by refusing to dine there for ethical reasons) while at the same time maintaining that his own reasons for choosing to eat there are beyond reproach. 

Requisite caveat: It is entirely possible that this guy is a Poe. I am forced to conclude that the column is legitimate since it didn't appear in The Onion or Landover Baptist but an actual community blog section for The Washington Times, but it's...well, honestly hard to believe. Let me give you some examples:
When I decide to buy something I have only one criterion: Is it the best quality at the best price to satisfy my needs or desires?  
I do not believe in social compacts, social responsibility, or any other idiotic political mumbo jumbo. I only believe in getting the best product or service at the lowest price. . . 
I only care about getting a tasty meal fast. That is all that counts. My wants and needs trump social-moral-economic-political-justice equine excrement every single time. . . 
He just believes that marriage is defined as a partnership between a man and a woman. For that he must be tarred, feathered, and lynched.    
To the lynch mobs and exploding heads, his belief about marriage is an egregious, heinous crime. Expression of beliefs that run counter to the lynch mob is not to be allowed.  
The spiteful screechers and scribblers came out with the usual false accusations of hatred and homophobia - whatever that is.
And it goes on, and on, and on like that.

I don't know if I've ever seen such a spectacular display of someone declaring that he doesn't give the tiniest shit about anyone else while simultaneously claiming that their slightest objection to anything he considers important amounts to...well, you saw it. A lynch mob. People who boycott an eatery because they dislike the political contributions of its owners are just like a group of rabid racists who torture and kill people for being the "wrong" color. In other words, people who object to bigotry are just like bigots themselves.


Leaving aside the immediate concern of why a person who professes to not even know what homophobia is should be heeded when making proclamations about when boycotts in response to it are or aren't can understand my confusion and refusal to take this seriously. Social responsibility is "idiotic political mumbo jumbo." Social justice is "equine excrement." Bigotry against homosexuals is apparently not even comprehensible as a concept. Poe, American from 1954 or modern day Saudi Arabian? Your guess is as good as mine, but suffice to not want.


  1. We could find out if his convictions are genuine if he would just as happily buy his groceries from a company that's given millions in support of LGBTQ organizations.

    And, personally, I can understand his position on not understanding bigotry. I am a straight white male, and I can't wrap my head around the concept of "male privilege." I've asked people to explain it to me, but have yet to get a good answer.

  2. I can understand not understanding bigotry, too. But if you don't understand it, the first thing you do is learn about it-- not write an editorial about it, while admitting that you don't have the first clue what you're talking about. People who don't know what homophobia is have no business telling others that their perceptions of homophobia are mistaken or irrelevant.

    Likewise, if you don't know what male privilege is, you've got an internet in front of you-- look it up! I'm tempted to google that for you, and look...there's a nice Wikipedia entry, right there. I defined privilege in this post as "being similar to most people, or at least most powerful people. Never being the 'other,' the one who is marked as different," in the process of unpacking how the psychology of privilege works. Here's a link to every blog post I've made discussing privilege. Have fun.

  3. Veering from the point of the post, but on the subject, Jim Henson Company, severed its partnership with Chick Fil-A and:

    Chicago Tribune:

    "The company posted the following statement on its Facebook page: “The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over 50 years and we have notified Chick-fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO, is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-fil-A to GLAAD"

  4. ... declaring that Wednesday August 1st should be a day of appreciation for Chick-fil-A, when everyone who wants to "affirm a business that operates on Christian principles" will get themselves a chicken sandwich and waffle fries for Jesus.

    Um. I live around the corner from a very publicly LGBT-owned restaurant. They sell chicken sandwiches and waffle fries. On Wednesday, can I get a chicken sandwich and waffle fries from them for Jesus?

    (I mean, I know I can do whatever I please on that. But the irony, it would amuse me.)

  5. Yes, you can! In fact, I think you should do just that, and then post about it on Huckabee's Facebook wall. Wish I could do it too.


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